Bury me in the backyard

N's birth great-uncle passed away this week. Tonight we are going to the funeral home and tomorrow Lance and I will be going to the funeral.

N has lost other members of his birth-family but we haven't lost any of our family since he was 6 months old, so I thought a conversation about death would be a good one to have. A simple explanation and a reminder that some of the people he loves the most (birth grandparents) would be very sad. I let him know that we could give them a hug and tell them we were sorry and just act calm and quiet. I wanted him to know this is not an occasion for silliness. So, when we finished with that brief, conversation, he said....

"Why don't they just bury him in their backyard?" I told him that that wouldn't work because if they sold their house and moved, other people wouldn't want someone else's family member buried in the backyard. At which point, he said, "Well, they could just dig him up and put his skeleton back together, move him to the new house and bury him again." Wow, 7 y.o.s definitely have an interesting perspective.

N also wanted to know who the oldest person in our family was because he wanted to know who would die next. I explained that it's not necessarily the oldest person who dies first. He thought for a minute and said well, I think Grandpa is the oldest because Nana is only 10. What?!? I explained that actually Grandma Stone and Granny were the oldest and then Grandad, Nana, Grandpa, and Grandmommy. But I couldn't convince him that Nana is not 10. So, there you have it. A nana who is only 3 years older than her grandson!

A little later he brought up the subject again and we talked about how Mrs. Ruby (his birth-great-grandmother) would probably be very sad because her son died. And N's response....I'll just climb up in her lap and cuddle with her. He's so sweet and of course, we won't really let that happen, because HELLO, she is turning 86 years old in February!

But, I'm so glad he wants to love on her. She is always loving on us as is the rest of his birthfamily. We are truly so blessed to have them in our lives. They not only love N, they love Lance, L, and me too! They never forget a birthday or Christmas and they always include us in their family celebrations and losses. And that's what family is all about. So, today we mourn the passing of Grammy's brother. He was a father of 3 and grandfather of 6 - today his family is hurting and we will join together to love on them.

He.Did.Not.Make.It.

In the midst of the weekend o'illness at our house, I forgot to mention the other family member who fell victim.

Remember this post last week? Well, much as Lance predicted, the fish was not able to recover from the severity of his wounds in Earthquake '08.

Early Saturday morning, L came to tell me that Fountain was not swimming. "He's just still, momma. He's not swimming anywhere. He's not saying "glub, glub.""

Oh boy, I knew as I went upstairs what I was going to find and yep indeedy, Fountain was upside down, dead, in the tank. L wanted to immediately return to the pet store and get another blue fish. Lance and I decided that getting a new fish right away was probably not in the best interest of the fish. We'll work some more on pet care and perhaps try again in a few months.

So, we're back to a family of 4 again. And frankly, at the moment, that's about all I can handle, so it's all good, peeps. All good.

Heart-breaking

I posted last week about one of my fears as a parent. The drowning issue and the importance of watching your children while around water. Little did I know at the time that one of our church family would suffer this horrible kind of death. No, it wasn't a child. It was a mom. A young mom who leaves behind twin 5 y.o. boys. This family was in our community investing in an education for her husband. They are one of many international families who come here for an education and a chance at a better life whether they choose to stay in the U.S. or whether they choose to go back home.

This family had chosen to go back home to Korea. And they were scheduled to leave today. But, it wasn't meant to be. While enjoying the outdoors on Saturday, the mom drowned. The boys were at church yesterday as their father struggled to make plans and figure out how life would go on. My heart aches for them so. To have come this far and lived so far from your home and with the promise of home so close. What a tragedy. We never know when life will be taken from us. We have to make the most of every single day.

It's interesting that this post is today. 5 years ago today, I received a phone call that would forever change my life as well. My brother called early in the morning to let me know my dad had had a heart attack and was in bad shape. As we gathered N and packed for Dallas, I kept telling Lance over and over, "I'm too young to lose my dad, I can't do this." It was a hard day - the drs. couldn't wait his surgery on me - he had a triple bypass and all I could think was, if he doesn't make it, I never got a chance to say goodbye. Thankfully, he did make it and he continued to grow stronger. But, I will never again take the health of my parents or loved ones for granted again. It changed me.

A dear friend of mine, Susan, called me Saturday night and let me know about her dad. He has pancreatic cancer. This is one of the deadliest and quickest forms of cancer. He will be gone soon and Susan knows it, but her heart is breaking. She is the primary caretaker and will have most of the burden on her for his care. My heart aches for her. I listened as she cried on the phone Saturday night. I didn't know what to say or what to do. I could only listen.

Please pray for Esther's family in these days ahead. I can't imagine all that is going thru their hearts and minds. Pray for Susan and her family.
Love those around you and tell them.