Exhausted, grateful, and exhausted again

My emotions and thoughts are scattered. The last 72 hours have been both a whirlwind of activity and a whirlwind of nothingness. Thanks to the latest in technology, we have known for days about Ike. We've had plenty of time to prepare (which is wonderful!) but also lots of time to think and wait, wait, wait...

Over the last 3 days, we've played alot, watched too many cartoons, and eaten too much junk food. There is something about "hunkerin' down" that just makes you crave Oreos and chips and salsa. I'm still waiting for the brocolli/carrot craving to arrive at our house.

I'm so grateful that our community was spared the wrath of Ike. We had some downed trees, limbs, and fences, but other than that...not much. Our community is full of people who don't know when they'll be able to go home. It may be weeks. Our church shelter is full for the foreseeable future. Hubby and others who've been volunteering around the clock are tired. Mommas at home with their kiddos (who can't go outside and run!!!) are exhausted. (Truly, I'm speaking about me here, but I'm sure there are others like me?!?)

The headquarters of my company is in Huntsville --I think they were hit hard, but don't really know for sure--I do know a lady was killed who lives in the same neighborhood as my boss.

Today, the kiddos and I headed back to the grocery store and boy, that was an experience...no bottled water or bread on the shelves. Very little cereal. And a guy from Freebirds was there buying every package of tortilla chips---I'm guessing their chip shipment didn't make it into town. The grocery store was pure chaos, but chaos beats devastation every day of the week.

Pray for the people along the coast of Texas and those in Houston as well. The days ahead will be tough ones for them.

Exhaustion

Christine writes on her blog today about something that is very real in parenting. It's hard work. It really.really.is. Sometimes, things go very smoothly - everyone is healthy, happy, and all is right in the world. But, sometimes....it's not. The last couple of weeks have been that way for me. It has to do with a whole lot of things piling up at once....

L gets ear infection
Momma's work load is increased
N starts a new summer program
Lance is gone ALOT

This week was VBS which meant more late nights and rushing around than this momma normally likes! It was a one week deal and now it's over - now to the relaxing part of summer!

One of the things we learned about prior to adoption was the feelings of being a parent and what we deserve - Entitlement. By this, I mean....we've waited forever to parent, we're so excited and so ready, but....do we allow ourselves to admit we're tired, worn out, and frustrated some days. Does that seem so wrong? We've wanted these children, now how dare we not embrace and love every moment? I'm so glad we were counseled about these feelings or I may not have expected to have these feelings. Does it mean I love my children any less? Nope. It means I'm....human. I have selfish desires just like I did before I was a mom. I'm much better able to put my desires to the side now, but somedays, oh yeah, what I wouldn't give to just be by myself all day long, read a good book, and nap!

Hang in there during those tough days - if you haven't seem them yet, you will! It makes me appreciate the sweet calm days even more. I love my children, I'm so thankful for them, I want to do right by them, even on the hard days. I want them to grow up and remember that mom was "real", not perfect. I want them to know that I loved them and did the best I could for them, but that sometimes things are just not perfect, because we're not perfect. God loves us anyway.