Wednesday, July 2, 2008

The bullies are back...

I'm sad for N. There are a couple of brothers in our neighborhood who insist on picking on him. These boys are 9 and 11 so they are much bigger than N. We had developed an understanding over the last 5 months with this family. We had little contact with them and things were "okay".

Yesterday, things changed back to the "old ways". I took the kiddos to the pool and this family happened to be there. The boys asked N to play with them and then proceeded to call him stupid and terrorize him. N doesn't swim well, so he generally either stays in the shallow end or he wears a life jacket in the deeper end. These boys were pushing him under the water. I was with L in the shallow end and didn't immediately see what was happening. Once I realized what was happening, I went over there with L hoping that with me near by things would get better. They didn't. So, I had to take N back with me in the shallow end until they left.

N doesn't completely understand what's going on. He just asked me "why do they call me stupid? I'm not stupid, I'm smart." In our family, stupid is a "bad" word - one that we don't use, so that's another issue for N - they are using a "bad" word.

I know this is part of life, particularly for boys, and N will have to be tough and able to handle this. But, as a momma, it makes me mad! And it makes me mad at their momma who was laying in the deck chair reading a book, oblivious to the whole thing!


Jenn Greeley said...

Well it makes me mad too! I know who they are and I just want to....argh! Why? I just don't get it. You know the only thing I can think of is God is putting this challenge in front of Nicholas and you for a reason. I guess there is a lesson to be learned. You are much more patient than I am. And that's a good thing. I'm not so sure I could hold my tongue.

Bri said...

Bravo for you for removing him from the situation! I may have thrown some punches! The sad thing is, there is probably some reason that these kids behave this way and it would probably make us all feel very sorry for them! I hope you don't encounter them too much!

Becky said...

Oh Jen, this makes me furious to hear!! I definately would have scolded those boys and then said something to the mom! Esp. with the age difference between them. Yes, he is a boy and there will come a time he has to learn to deal with things like this on his own but, not at barely 1st grade! Oh I wish I'd been there!! I feel my Momma claws coming out thinking about it! I used to be real timid about things like this but, no more! If my kids are involved, I don't care who doesn't like my speaking up.
I got on to some girls the other day at the children's museum we took the kids to on our trip. They were slinging the digging area material all over the place, hitting Agirl and other little children with it. Where was mom? Watching them! I got on to them and they stopped and she had nothing to say to me!
It is sad b/c Bri is probably right. If they got the right kind of attention that they need, perhaps they wouldn't feel empowered by treating N this way!
UGH! Off my soapbox now! Makes me so angry for your baby!

QuiteContrary said...

That just breaks my heart for N. Maybe it's the teacher in me or the momma bear but I don't think I could have refrained from getting on to both the other boys and their mom! You know I always had that hot headed problem of speaking first and thinking about what I should have said or done later. Kids can be so mean sometimes and it is sad that the older boys are not getting the guidence that they so obviously need. Teaching a child empathy for others when it doesn't come naturally to them has got to be one of the hardest things to teach.