Wednesday, July 23, 2008


Well, we've done it. We've caved in to months of pressure from the boy. He has worn us down. We are letting him have a friend spend the night Friday night for the 1st time.

It happens to be our next-door neighbor's youngest son. We did this on purpose. If it doesn't work out, it's easy to walk him back home! We told N this is a test to see how he handles all the overwhelming excitement that is sure to descend on our house Friday night. If he handles it with all the maturity of a 6 1/2 year old, then maybe, just maybe we'll let him do it again before he graduates from high school!!!

Just kidding, we know we'll let him again, but the frequency will depend on his behavior.

I've sought advice on this subject for about a year now and have received a wide variety of responses. Some parents refuse to ever allow sleepovers for their children. Some only allow their child to invite a friend over to their house for a sleepover and yet others don't mind sleepovers at all. I think I'm a middle of the road kinda gal. I want sleepovers to be a special treat, not a weekly occurence. I also will carefully monitor whose home my kiddos will be allowed to spend the night in. So many issues have come up that I never really thought of before: guns (do they have them in the house? and if so, are they locked up?); what kind of movies/TV they allow their children to watch?, etc.

I want my kids to experience life and not grow up completely sheltered and naive about the world, but I also want to do everything in my power to protect them as well.

Any advice out there from any of you more experienced parents?!?


Anonymous said...

N will have a great time! I'm so glad you are the kind of mom who allows for special times, but is also careful to "get the facts" and be alert. At least he is young enough to convince that sleep is part of "sleepover"---maybe later than you desire. Enjoy the experience. Wait until L has sleepovers! Lots of giggles!

Jenn Greeley said...

How exciting! I think you have asked all the questions you would think to ask and now you have to just go with it. You'll see what works and what doesn't. I'm sure it will be great fun for N and his friend.

Bri said...

When I was growing up, my mom created that house where everyone wanted to be. I had tons of sleepovers, but I had to earn them. She always had fun things for us to do, and let us all do cool things- like help make dinner and decide what to make for dinner. She made sure we were stocked with dress-up clothes and crafts to keep us busy with stuff that felt very special. I didn't really sleep over at others' houses too much becuase everyone wanted to be at my house. At the time, I thought it was sooo cool. Now, looking back, how smart my mother was! By creating a place that welcomed everyone, she got to be the one who monitored our activities and our TV watching. I plan to do everything I can to have the fun place to hang out for my kids, too.

QuiteContrary said...

Such fun! I have one who loves sleepovers and one that would rather play til the cows come home, then make everyone else go home so he can sleep in peace. My only suggestion: wear their booties out, then put them in front of a nice calm movie to drift off to sleep ... hopefully! I'm sure it will be a huge success!

Becky said...

I agree with Bri. My mom didn't do that and I very much would like to! I've read about that in Christian parenting books, make yours the home where all the kids want to be so that you can show Christ and keep an eye on them! :o)
We mostly do sleep-overs with the friend across the street. He is coming here tonight in fact.
We have had to have talks with his parents when J goes there b/c they have an older sibling, 10, so, the TV choices are a little different. While we seem to share the same morals and values, they have seen things we'd prefer ours not to.
We will be VERY particular and cautious about where our kids stay and I would always much rather have the kids here! So far, J has only done very, very close church friends and across the street.
We do have to be very careful these days!