When Lance and I married (almost 14 years ago!) I was definitely the more clean freak than he. So, I did most of the cleaning. At first I didn't mind, but then when we moved to Brownfield, I was commuting 2 hours a day to work and I just didn't have as much time or energy to keep up with everything. And then the chore wars began. Since my standards are so much higher, Lance didn't understand why I expected him to clean since it didn't bother him to have clutter around. And looking back, I can see his point. But....it was really a simple thing and it would have made me so much happier, and so I wanted him to do it.
We tried chore lists, we tried other things, but bottom line, he didn't do the chores when I wanted him to. He likes to come home at the end of the day and rest, then spend the rest of the evening slowly doing his chores. Me, I like to come home, rush thru my chores, and then have the rest of the evening to PLAY! We're different like that. And for many years, it was not a happy co-existence in the area of chores.
But, then came kiddos, and my standards, well, they were lowered. They had to be - I could not keep up with the same level of tidiness when I had one and then two little people coming behind me and undoing my cleaning. So...now we divide and conquer. We each have our own chores and I know Lance will eventually do the ones on his list. If we are having company or if things are getting especially out of control, I will ask him to go ahead and do it and I don't think he minds so much, because I've let it slide for awhile.
This is one of my main jobs. It's funny when it was just Lance and I, I did laundry once a week. No big deal. When we added N to the family, I did laundry twice a week - no big deal. When we added L to the family and I mean from day 1, I now do laundry almost every day. How did one little girl change our laundry situation so drastically?!?
I also am the dishwasher loader/unloader; sheet changer, tidier-upper, duster, carpet vacummer, sink cleaner-outer, kid lunch fixer, clothes picker-outer. Basically, I'm the everyday cleaner that keeps us from living with "junk" piled everywhere.
Lance is the keeper of the yard. I have NO interest whatsoever in the yard other than pulling weeds. Lance is also our resident mopper, toilet scrubber, and bathtub cleaner. Even though I have way more chores to do on a daily basis, I'm okay with it, because quite frankly, I have the better jobs. He has the jobs I really don't like to do and so it works for us!
How about in your house? Do you have a system? Do you fight about it? What works for you?