Christine writes on her blog today about something that is very real in parenting. It's hard work. It really.really.is. Sometimes, things go very smoothly - everyone is healthy, happy, and all is right in the world. But, sometimes....it's not. The last couple of weeks have been that way for me. It has to do with a whole lot of things piling up at once....
L gets ear infection
Momma's work load is increased
N starts a new summer program
Lance is gone ALOT
This week was VBS which meant more late nights and rushing around than this momma normally likes! It was a one week deal and now it's over - now to the relaxing part of summer!
One of the things we learned about prior to adoption was the feelings of being a parent and what we deserve - Entitlement. By this, I mean....we've waited forever to parent, we're so excited and so ready, but....do we allow ourselves to admit we're tired, worn out, and frustrated some days. Does that seem so wrong? We've wanted these children, now how dare we not embrace and love every moment? I'm so glad we were counseled about these feelings or I may not have expected to have these feelings. Does it mean I love my children any less? Nope. It means I'm....human. I have selfish desires just like I did before I was a mom. I'm much better able to put my desires to the side now, but somedays, oh yeah, what I wouldn't give to just be by myself all day long, read a good book, and nap!
Hang in there during those tough days - if you haven't seem them yet, you will! It makes me appreciate the sweet calm days even more. I love my children, I'm so thankful for them, I want to do right by them, even on the hard days. I want them to grow up and remember that mom was "real", not perfect. I want them to know that I loved them and did the best I could for them, but that sometimes things are just not perfect, because we're not perfect. God loves us anyway.