Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Bury me in the backyard

N's birth great-uncle passed away this week. Tonight we are going to the funeral home and tomorrow Lance and I will be going to the funeral.

N has lost other members of his birth-family but we haven't lost any of our family since he was 6 months old, so I thought a conversation about death would be a good one to have. A simple explanation and a reminder that some of the people he loves the most (birth grandparents) would be very sad. I let him know that we could give them a hug and tell them we were sorry and just act calm and quiet. I wanted him to know this is not an occasion for silliness. So, when we finished with that brief, conversation, he said....

"Why don't they just bury him in their backyard?" I told him that that wouldn't work because if they sold their house and moved, other people wouldn't want someone else's family member buried in the backyard. At which point, he said, "Well, they could just dig him up and put his skeleton back together, move him to the new house and bury him again." Wow, 7 y.o.s definitely have an interesting perspective.

N also wanted to know who the oldest person in our family was because he wanted to know who would die next. I explained that it's not necessarily the oldest person who dies first. He thought for a minute and said well, I think Grandpa is the oldest because Nana is only 10. What?!? I explained that actually Grandma Stone and Granny were the oldest and then Grandad, Nana, Grandpa, and Grandmommy. But I couldn't convince him that Nana is not 10. So, there you have it. A nana who is only 3 years older than her grandson!

A little later he brought up the subject again and we talked about how Mrs. Ruby (his birth-great-grandmother) would probably be very sad because her son died. And N's response....I'll just climb up in her lap and cuddle with her. He's so sweet and of course, we won't really let that happen, because HELLO, she is turning 86 years old in February!

But, I'm so glad he wants to love on her. She is always loving on us as is the rest of his birthfamily. We are truly so blessed to have them in our lives. They not only love N, they love Lance, L, and me too! They never forget a birthday or Christmas and they always include us in their family celebrations and losses. And that's what family is all about. So, today we mourn the passing of Grammy's brother. He was a father of 3 and grandfather of 6 - today his family is hurting and we will join together to love on them.


Jenn Greeley said...

Kids are funny.

Ladybug Fanatic said...

Kids truly are very imaginative.